Hate Love Hate
by Sendmeademon
Summary: Troy has just fallen, and Greece is the proud winner, along with Athena, its patron. Despite being happy, she can feel Ares' helplessness better than anyone. Who else, if not the goddess of war?


_Disclaimer:_ _I own nothing but the story._

 _Warnings: Rated M because of adult themes._

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The goddess of peace couldn't possibly be perturbed. She was known as a stern woman, the only one amongst all those gods who let their feelings run freely that was always able to remain calm and collected, cool and indifferent, no matter what was troubling her or the circumstances she was facing. Athena herself would say that she is the way she was, as truthful as ever, impassive even. Whenever Aphrodite, Poseidon or Hera reproach her being so cold, she would just look at them with those clear, golden owl-like eyes that feel like arrows, and say "Justice is impartial, and so am I."

Then, if she was so sure of her impartiality, why was she burning with rage every single time Ares spoke up? Perhaps because he was _so annoying, when would he shut the Hades up?_ He was the only one who could do that. Not even her uncle, Poseidon, was able to make her so mad. Well, it was part of his power.

"Deal with it, brother, Troy has fallen. There is nothing else you can do!", Hermes struggled to be heard in the heat of the argument without losing his temper. Eris would smack her lips just from feeling the chaos in the room.

The questioned one stood up and hit the table's marble surface, almost breaking it, narrowing his flaming red eyes. " _He_ was the reason why _you_ won, you damn idiot! Him, and horrible Hepheastus, Poseidon, or Mother. Have you heard it, stupid know-it-all? You didn't win this alone, don't think you deserve the glory. And don't you dare to think this is over!", cried Ares in absolute anger, avoiding a worried Aphrodite and storming off the place.

Yet there were so many people seated around the council table, he had only spoken to her. He was angry at her again. It had been that way since long ago, perhaps since the beggining of times. Athena knew that was how things were meant to be. After all, knowledge and wrath were two things too different to ever agree in something. Emotions corrupted life, in general, making people take sides, something she had actually proven in this war, siding with Greece, leading them to victory, as usual. Long ago, she spent so much time wondering why the god of war kept challenging her, if it was so sure he would eventually lose. Her strategies made her almost invincible, against his pure will to destroy.

The goddess left the council shortly after. Zeus had given Greece the victory, and on the top of her head, decorating her caramel curls, a laurel wreath, which Ares took off in the moment she walked into her own room. She sighed, used as she was to hide her feelings, but inmediately looked at him severely, without saying a word, judging him. Her attitude made Ares angrier, if that was possible. He grabbed her wrist and pushing her against the wall without any care, he trapped her between the cold surface and his body.

She didn't resist, and tried to put on the mask she needed in front of him, taking the part of his conscience. "This is not a good idea, Ares", she said, her voice close to a murmur, but strong as if she was shouting. He decided to ignore her, caressing the slightly tanned skin of her inner thights, rising her light dress. "Listen to me. Let's forget about this, before we dwell on it. It's for the best", insisted as calmly as she could while he made her put her legs around his body and finally ripped her clothes. She wished he was a little more delicate, and also a lot rougher. Oh, how she appreciated his roughness.

It wasn't the first time, and though they repeated it like a mantra, it wouldn't be the last one. She couldn'remember the exact moment when they started to have those awful encounters. Awful, not because she ended wounded, bruised all over, bleeding ichor profusely most of the times; All of that didn't matter, as much as she was supposed to be a virgin goddess and she was being untruthful to her vow. She was lying. Because of Ares. The more she thought about it, the more she convinced herself it was crazy. But she wasn't able to say no to him when he entered her room with lust in his bloody eyes. It wasn't the fact that he turned her on, at least, not in the regular and healthy way. It was just that seeing him plunged her in a state of anger which took her beyond her normal senses, and she only wanted to have him closer, close and controlled so he couldn't hurt anyone but her. But she wasn't as martyr as she tried to think. She wanted it. She wanted him, in their strange manner.

Altough when she looked at him while they did it she felt sad and empty, she kept allowing him if that could make him feel better. Not just that she obviously cared for him in one way or another, but she understood him, more than any other god. He knew the war as good as her. He knew the pain, frustration and despair bonded to defeat. And she hated him, but at the same time, was willing to make him feel relieved. Without saying a word, they understood. Normally, they didn't try to push their luck further than there.

An advantage of having a broad mind was to be able to think about all of that while he was toying with her body as he felt like, distracting herself until he decided if he wanted to enter in her at the moment or he looked for a craving face of hers. He was not going to get it, as usual, therefore he started to bite her shoulders, making her hard to breathe. "Who do you think you are? You will lose, and then you will be the one kneeling before me! Yes, of course you will, by hook or by crook... Don't be so full of yourself", he mumbled to himself, lifting her and throwing her to the bed. She landed gracefully, grabbing the sheets to keep her hands full as he approached her. "No need. Looks like you are just going to fill me with _yourself_ ", she said, raising her eyebrow and closing her legs, only because she wanted him to open them.

Seeing Athena so arrogant and proud of herself always drove Ares crazy. Plus, she joked so rarely when he was around, that he didn't know if it was okay for him to laugh or not. He struggled to find something that would wound her, and when he found the right stuff, his eyes seemed to shine more, his flames rising and getting hotter, his face becoming more serious. He climbed up the bed and on top of her as well, their lips separated by mere inches. "Oh, Athena, you are really funny. That is why I-", he whispered, gloomy, before being interrupted. "Don't!", Athena demanded, suddenly urgent, so much that she clawed Ares' strong forearms and pulled his dark, straight hair. "That is why I love you. You are such a crook for stealing my heart away, Athena. What would Father say if he was aware of his little girl sleeping around with this _disgusting barbarian_?", he went on, holding her chin so she wouldn't avoid his look.

He had said it. Great. Now Athena felt miserable, and her brother was conscious of it, and was enjoying her suffering and pitying her, both. That was how Ares acted. She should have been used to it, but it still hurt her like nothing else. It wasn't his love what hurt her, because she knew he loved her, in his twisted mode, he was being sincere. What hurt her the most was that she wasn't able to love him back freely. Her vow. Her duty. Her reputation. Above all that, they wouldn't be able to face everything that implied being in a relationship with a god. It was simply impossible, and Ares took pleasure in her tears. "Dad knows. He sees it all, you fool", said the goddess, letting him dry off the wet strokes on her cheeks with his thumbs and lips, showing delicacy. He was able to do so, much more often, too, but he just didn't want to. It would be too painful, they agreed.

He granted her silent wish and, pulling off his clothes, he spread her legs, fitting perfectly between them, and started to move back and forth, looking nearly caring, kissing her over and over, everywhere, repeating "I love you so much". She closed her eyes, letting him embrace her body. It was delightful to make love to him and not have those furious, nerve-wrecking encounters. She had never envied Aphrodite, but she got to have him without any worry, even though she was married, and that was something Athena would like to achieve. Getting to do what she wanted without minding what other people said. She would be so happy. It was on her hand. But it was just not right, not fair, for the other gods or the humans. She needed to remain impartial, and love would be another distraction. She must be dedicated to knowledge, nothing else.

It finished differently as it started. Athena sighed deeply as her toes curled and squeezed Ares' neck, biting his lips so toughly she tasted the ichor in her mouth, and that was the end of it. They remained still, trying to catch their breath, and so the goddess opened her eyes. "Well, maybe I'm a crook. Maybe I'm a bad person", she recognized, smiling with a good amount of resignation. Ares caressed the new bruises in her collarbones, seeming distracted. "We both may be bad people, Athena", reminded her, kissing her jaw's side softly. "I know. I'm a _stupid_ _know-it-all_ , am I not? As I know you are going to be mad at me in two minutes. You are starting to breathe faster and your hands are 'losing their kindness', as Aphrodite would say", and she laughed, ironically, and she felt his mouth going up, trazing a path from neck to forehead. "Do you have to analyze everything?", he recriminated her, feeling like smiling too. He seemed so loving, so normal. She hated him for it. He was not allowed to do that.

She reminded why she didn't like making love to Ares. The flames in his eyes should never fade. They were the whole point of his owner's existance. Ares was made to be angry, not nice, and never, ever, kind. She stole his main characteristic and felt horrible for it, as he did with her. They couldn't be together if they changed each other, and to be together, they had to change. The eternal contradiction of their bittersweet relationship.

So, when he finally started to put his clothes back on, she didn't move a finger to stop him. It was the right thing. It was for the best. After all, what was love good for? The butterflies in her stomach died for the umpteenth time at the moment he walked out and closed the door, looking back briefly, which caused a strong shiver. Oh, no, she _couldn't_ afford to love.

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 _Alright, now I'm proud of myself! I'm not an English native, but I could write a fanfic anyway, so I kind of lost some fear to do so. I had to be checking all the time for new vocabulary, and I'm not really sure that I chose the right words or had a flawless grammar, but to be my first, it came out really well. Short, but that's alright._

 _I have to say that I ship waaay more Hephaestus x Athena, but there is so many AthenAres here that it influenced me. It is a really complex relationship, but I also find it quite cute (yes, I'm crazy, I'm sorry)._

 _So that's it. Thank you for reading!_


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